Tuesday 8 April 2014

What to Expect at an Event

Most participants at a 7for7 event would not have attended any kind of speed dating event before. Here’s what to expect, and some do’s and don’ts:


1. It is not a good idea to arrive late.

There are three reasons why it is not a good idea to arrive late. The first reason is that latecomers force me, as the organizer, to call them on their phones to check if they are coming. No-shows require me to carry out some last minute reconfiguration of the seating arrangements, which can be messy. To avoid this, I need to know if a participant is unable to attend the event or is genuinely late. Of course, if you are late enough, we will start the event without you.

The second reason is that arriving late can be like stepping into a lecture theatre when everyone is already seated. It makes for an awkward entrance, especially if you are alone.

The third reason of course, is that it may result in a bad impression on other participants who care about punctuality.


2. Arriving early is OK if you don’t mind socializing with the other participants.

However, if you are the reserved sort and inclined to sit in a corner with your phone, it is probably better not to arrive too early. As the facilitator of the event, one of the things I try to do is to strike up a conversation with participants who arrive early to make them feel more comfortable. However, I can generally speak to only one or two people at a time, and when other participants start arriving, I will be too busy registering them.


3. Dress well (but not in anything formal) to create a good impression.

Office wear is about as formal as it gets. It’s what I wear myself when I hold an event since I come straight from work.


4. If you feel awkward, shy or just plain out-of-place at the start of the event, don’t worry. That feeling fades quickly.

The comfort level of participants at an event noticeably increases after perhaps 20 minutes (about three speed dates), even if they arrived alone without knowing anyone. The reason for this is simple. Each speed date generally starts with the same few questions. “What is your name?”, “what do you do?”, “what are your interests?”, “what kinds of activities do you enjoy?”.

By the third speed date, the rhythm of the conversation becomes very familiar, expected, even a bit unexciting, which is why we limit the number of speed dates to only seven. The good part of this however, is that participants no longer feel awkward once the ice is broken.

If you are hesitant about registering for our upcoming event because you are apprehensive about how uncomfortable it might feel, this is a good reason why you should attend, because from experience, we know that those uncomfortable feelings don’t last and that participants generally enjoy meeting new people at the event.


5. At the end of each speed date, end the conversation smoothly and thank your date.

Needless to say, this makes the experience more positive for everyone and leaves a favorable impression.


6. After the speed dating portion of the event, mingle!

For many participants, this is really the best part of the event. The awkwardness of meeting random strangers is gone, the slightly artificial feel of speed dating is over, and yet, you have a mix of guys you have already introduced yourself to and with whom you can continue to deepen the conversation.

At the previous event I organized, I could tell from the body language of two guys who continued talking to each other after their speed date was over that there was chemistry between the two of them. And indeed, at the end of the evening, there was in fact a match between the two of them.

Or if you’re still up to it, you can get to know the other guys whom you did not get to meet.

And you know what? In the unlikely event you still feel shy, the seating arrangements guarantee that you already know someone at the event who has spoken to the other guys you have not met. So, it is not difficult to draw someone you’re attracted to but did not get to meet into a 3 or 4-way conversation.


7. Mingling is an art. So, take the opportunity to practice.

Anyone who regularly networks at professional events such as seminars and conferences already knows these things, but if you don’t, here are a few tips.

Make eye contact with the person you wish to talk to. Take the initiative and walk over. Listen with interest to what they say. Be an active participant in the conversation. Avoid monosyllabic “yes-no” answers, and when you yourself ask questions, ask open-ended ones that invite a more verbose response.

For example, if you know someone who works in sales, don’t ask “Are you in a client-facing role?”, which invites merely a yes or no response. Instead, ask “What kinds of clients do you work with in your job?”, which encourages the person to explain in a more detailed response. Questions like these make a conversation flow more naturally.

And if you need to disengage from a conversation, perhaps because you want the chance to talk to everyone at the event, do so smoothly. For example, excuse yourself to go to the toilet, or to refresh your drink at the bar.


So, there you have it. 7 tips for what to expect and do at a 7for7 event. We look forward to seeing you on 16 April!

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Register for our upcoming event on 16 April here.