The first 7for7 event was held in January this year, and from observing participants at that event, it's clear that there are certain things participants can do to make their experience a more positive one.
It's important to note that 7for7 is not a matchmaker. Our role is an event organizer and facilitator. Hence, it's up to participants to make the most out of attending an event. But don't worry. By reading the tips we list below, you're well on your way to having a great experience!
1. The laws of attraction are not suspended simply because you have 7 guaranteed dates.
What does this mean? It means you should take just as much care with your appearance as if you were meeting an exciting new guy for the first time.
Get a haircut. Dress well. Think about how best to describe yourself in just a few minutes. Make a conscious effort to be friendly and approachable at the event despite a long day at work.
2. At the event, you should be looking for that ineffable quality - chemistry.
Some participants approach speed dating as they would online dating. They come with a checklist and expect to meet guys who tick all the right boxes. And when they don't, they go home disappointed and decide that speed dating doesn't "work".
As an event organizer, my advice to participants is to keep an open mind when attending an event. Allow the conversation with each date to proceed naturally, and when your 7 minutes are up, think about whether if you had the chance, you would want to continue the conversation with that person.
Of course everyone has certain qualities they look for in a potential significant other, but the goal of speed dating shouldn't be to screen out the guys you meet based on your checklist. In fact, quite often, people are terrible at figuring out what's really important for them in a relationship and what's just nice to have.
Instead, consider the rapport that you build with your dates and think about whether you felt a connection and whether you would like to know him better. If you did feel the connection, put that guy's name down as a match on your program sheet. You can always decide later whether that was just a phantom feeling or something more substantial.
Which brings me to the next point...
3. You are not there at the event to look for a boyfriend / soulmate.
It's unrealistic to expect to find an instant hot new boyfriend after attending an event.
A match at a speed dating event is simply an opportunity to meet the guy you felt a mutual connection with, in the future in a different context, and to see if something more will develop.
Don't make the mistake of projecting too much significance onto a match. Overeagerness can be very unattractive on meetings following a speed date.
4. 7for7 arranges 7 dates for you at each event. But there will be at least 6 other guys that you haven't met following the speed dates.
Some guys leave right after the speed dating portion of an event. Sometimes, this can't be helped if you have a prior engagement.
But if you're free after the speed dating, mingle! You should be doing at least one of two things:
- Starting a conversation with the other guys you have not met; and/or
- Deepening the conversation with the guys you have already speed dated and found yourself attracted to.
The goal should be to increase your interactions with other participants so you come away from the event with a richer experience.
And of course, what works well at the end of the event works just as well at the start. If you are early to arrive, take the opportunity to chat to the other early participants before the event starts.
A 7for7 speed dating event is ultimately what you make of it. As an event organizer, I can only do so much. So, take the initiative, put yourself out there and meet the guys. One of them could become something more than just a random acquaintance!
