Thursday 17 April 2014

Post-Event Publicity 16 April 2014

7for7 just held an event on 16 April and the event was a success! Thanks to all the participants who attended and Elvin who graciously offered us his bar to hold the event.

The event was held at Out Bar on a Wednesday night, so while Out's normal clientele were around, the venue was quiet enough to permit conversation between participants.

Here are the event statistics.



Half of the participants this time round found matches.

Interestingly enough, one pair of participants matched up even though they already knew each other and came to the event together! They both indicated they didn't want to date each other, but at the end of the event, they both put each other down as a match.

Turns out that 7for7 events are a great place to test if you can move from the "friend zone" to something perhaps a little more intimate, without exposing your interest unnecessarily.

On a scale of 0 to 4, the feedback score was 3.4, highly positive feedback.

Some participants commented on the dim lighting. However, the venue being a bar, I hope participants can understand that the lighting is bound to be softer. On the plus side, soft diffused lighting hides the flaws in everyone's skin tone!

As for the space issues some participants mentioned, we are somewhat constrained by the fact that the venue must remain open to business, since the event is relatively small-scale and we cannot possibly reserve the entire space. We hope participants understand these constraints.

As mentioned during the event, we'll hold our next event when there is sufficient interest forthcoming. Till then, enjoy your matches for those who have them, and we look forward to seeing you again in the future.

Monday 14 April 2014

Details for the Event on 16 April 2014

By now, participants who have registered for the event and confirmed their registration through payment should have received the details for the event via email. Also, the pre-event form has been released.

Please check your email if you are participating in the event on 16 April. We look forward to seeing you there!

Tuesday 8 April 2014

What to Expect at an Event

Most participants at a 7for7 event would not have attended any kind of speed dating event before. Here’s what to expect, and some do’s and don’ts:


1. It is not a good idea to arrive late.

There are three reasons why it is not a good idea to arrive late. The first reason is that latecomers force me, as the organizer, to call them on their phones to check if they are coming. No-shows require me to carry out some last minute reconfiguration of the seating arrangements, which can be messy. To avoid this, I need to know if a participant is unable to attend the event or is genuinely late. Of course, if you are late enough, we will start the event without you.

The second reason is that arriving late can be like stepping into a lecture theatre when everyone is already seated. It makes for an awkward entrance, especially if you are alone.

The third reason of course, is that it may result in a bad impression on other participants who care about punctuality.


2. Arriving early is OK if you don’t mind socializing with the other participants.

However, if you are the reserved sort and inclined to sit in a corner with your phone, it is probably better not to arrive too early. As the facilitator of the event, one of the things I try to do is to strike up a conversation with participants who arrive early to make them feel more comfortable. However, I can generally speak to only one or two people at a time, and when other participants start arriving, I will be too busy registering them.


3. Dress well (but not in anything formal) to create a good impression.

Office wear is about as formal as it gets. It’s what I wear myself when I hold an event since I come straight from work.


4. If you feel awkward, shy or just plain out-of-place at the start of the event, don’t worry. That feeling fades quickly.

The comfort level of participants at an event noticeably increases after perhaps 20 minutes (about three speed dates), even if they arrived alone without knowing anyone. The reason for this is simple. Each speed date generally starts with the same few questions. “What is your name?”, “what do you do?”, “what are your interests?”, “what kinds of activities do you enjoy?”.

By the third speed date, the rhythm of the conversation becomes very familiar, expected, even a bit unexciting, which is why we limit the number of speed dates to only seven. The good part of this however, is that participants no longer feel awkward once the ice is broken.

If you are hesitant about registering for our upcoming event because you are apprehensive about how uncomfortable it might feel, this is a good reason why you should attend, because from experience, we know that those uncomfortable feelings don’t last and that participants generally enjoy meeting new people at the event.


5. At the end of each speed date, end the conversation smoothly and thank your date.

Needless to say, this makes the experience more positive for everyone and leaves a favorable impression.


6. After the speed dating portion of the event, mingle!

For many participants, this is really the best part of the event. The awkwardness of meeting random strangers is gone, the slightly artificial feel of speed dating is over, and yet, you have a mix of guys you have already introduced yourself to and with whom you can continue to deepen the conversation.

At the previous event I organized, I could tell from the body language of two guys who continued talking to each other after their speed date was over that there was chemistry between the two of them. And indeed, at the end of the evening, there was in fact a match between the two of them.

Or if you’re still up to it, you can get to know the other guys whom you did not get to meet.

And you know what? In the unlikely event you still feel shy, the seating arrangements guarantee that you already know someone at the event who has spoken to the other guys you have not met. So, it is not difficult to draw someone you’re attracted to but did not get to meet into a 3 or 4-way conversation.


7. Mingling is an art. So, take the opportunity to practice.

Anyone who regularly networks at professional events such as seminars and conferences already knows these things, but if you don’t, here are a few tips.

Make eye contact with the person you wish to talk to. Take the initiative and walk over. Listen with interest to what they say. Be an active participant in the conversation. Avoid monosyllabic “yes-no” answers, and when you yourself ask questions, ask open-ended ones that invite a more verbose response.

For example, if you know someone who works in sales, don’t ask “Are you in a client-facing role?”, which invites merely a yes or no response. Instead, ask “What kinds of clients do you work with in your job?”, which encourages the person to explain in a more detailed response. Questions like these make a conversation flow more naturally.

And if you need to disengage from a conversation, perhaps because you want the chance to talk to everyone at the event, do so smoothly. For example, excuse yourself to go to the toilet, or to refresh your drink at the bar.


So, there you have it. 7 tips for what to expect and do at a 7for7 event. We look forward to seeing you on 16 April!

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Register for our upcoming event on 16 April here.

Saturday 5 April 2014

Making the Most of a Speed Dating Event

The first 7for7 event was held in January this year, and from observing participants at that event, it's clear that there are certain things participants can do to make their experience a more positive one.

It's important to note that 7for7 is not a matchmaker. Our role is an event organizer and facilitator. Hence, it's up to participants to make the most out of attending an event. But don't worry. By reading the tips we list below, you're well on your way to having a great experience!


1. The laws of attraction are not suspended simply because you have 7 guaranteed dates.

What does this mean? It means you should take just as much care with your appearance as if you were meeting an exciting new guy for the first time.

Get a haircut. Dress well. Think about how best to describe yourself in just a few minutes. Make a conscious effort to be friendly and approachable at the event despite a long day at work.


2. At the event, you should be looking for that ineffable quality - chemistry.

Some participants approach speed dating as they would online dating. They come with a checklist and expect to meet guys who tick all the right boxes. And when they don't, they go home disappointed and decide that speed dating doesn't "work".

As an event organizer, my advice to participants is to keep an open mind when attending an event. Allow the conversation with each date to proceed naturally, and when your 7 minutes are up, think about whether if you had the chance, you would want to continue the conversation with that person.

Of course everyone has certain qualities they look for in a potential significant other, but the goal of speed dating shouldn't be to screen out the guys you meet based on your checklist. In fact, quite often, people are terrible at figuring out what's really important for them in a relationship and what's just nice to have.

Instead, consider the rapport that you build with your dates and think about whether you felt a connection and whether you would like to know him better. If you did feel the connection, put that guy's name down as a match on your program sheet. You can always decide later whether that was just a phantom feeling or something more substantial.

Which brings me to the next point...


3. You are not there at the event to look for a boyfriend / soulmate.

It's unrealistic to expect to find an instant hot new boyfriend after attending an event.

A match at a speed dating event is simply an opportunity to meet the guy you felt a mutual connection with, in the future in a different context, and to see if something more will develop.

Don't make the mistake of projecting too much significance onto a match. Overeagerness can be very unattractive on meetings following a speed date.


4. 7for7 arranges 7 dates for you at each event. But there will be at least 6 other guys that you haven't met following the speed dates.

Some guys leave right after the speed dating portion of an event. Sometimes, this can't be helped if you have a prior engagement.

But if you're free after the speed dating, mingle! You should be doing at least one of two things:

  • Starting a conversation with the other guys you have not met; and/or 
  • Deepening the conversation with the guys you have already speed dated and found yourself attracted to.


The goal should be to increase your interactions with other participants so you come away from the event with a richer experience.

And of course, what works well at the end of the event works just as well at the start. If you are early to arrive, take the opportunity to chat to the other early participants before the event starts.

A 7for7 speed dating event is ultimately what you make of it. As an event organizer, I can only do so much. So, take the initiative, put yourself out there and meet the guys. One of them could become something more than just a random acquaintance!

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Register for our upcoming event on 16 April here.